Ben Affleck. He starred in Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon. Matt Damon starred in Ocean’s Eleven with Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts starred in Flatliners with … Kevin Bacon!
That puts Ben Affleck at a three in the parlor game “six degrees of Kevin Bacon,” which challenges you to link any actor to Kevin Bacon in six steps or fewer. It’s based on the idea of “six degrees of separation” that posits we’re all more interconnected than we think. Think: friend of a friend of a friend.
But play the game with our own lives, things are starting to look a lot lonelier.
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The Kevin Bacon rule of retirement: test yourself
Over the past 30 years, American friendship groups have shrunk. The number of people without any close confidants has sharply increased. The drop is especially pronounced among males, who seem to be missing more than just a few good men.
In 1990, 55% of men reported having at least six close friends. Today, just 27% can say the same. Worse, 15% of men say they have zero friends, a fivefold increase. That means no one to call to play 18 holes, grab a drink or catch a movie.
Maybe beyond fun trivia, the “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” game can offer a useful framework for retirement. Because research shows that the strength of our relationships is directly tied to our physical health, mental well-being and even financial life.
If you’re thinking about retirement success, it may be time to run your own version of the Kevin Bacon test for retirement. Who are you connected to and how?
Because in retirement, your relationships may matter just as much as your savings.
Connection may be ultimate retirement multiplier
The science is clear: connection matters.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development — one of the longest-running studies on happiness – found that strong, healthy relationships are the single most important factor in predicting long-term well-being. Not wealth, not fame, not career success. Just the quality of our relationships.
Research also suggests that strong social ties boost longevity, cognitive function, emotional health and even immunity.
It’s something we seem to understand intuitively. According to the Pew Research Center, 61% of U.S. adults say having close friends is extremely or very important for a fulfilling life. Compare that to the shares who say the same about marriage (23%), children (26%) or making a lot of money (25%).
Yet despite all that, relationships often take a backseat in retirement planning.
“What is often not quantified in a retirement plan is the support provided by family, friends, neighbors, community,” says Laura Lynch, CFP® and founder of The Tiny House Adviser. “They help you define your purpose in retirement, who go with you to the library or medical appointments, who help after surgery, who share their garden tomatoes or a room when you travel — these positively impact your retirement experience.”
Considering the benefits, you may want to think of spending on others as part of your retirement strategy. Research shows that how you spend your money has a major impact on your well-being.
Spending money on others, known as prosocial spending, can deliver a meaningful boost to happiness. Even better? Researchers found that prosocial spending brings the most joy when it creates an opportunity to deepen a connection with another person, such as going out for a cup of coffee with a friend.
Put another way: if you once neglected relationships to build wealth, retirement may be the moment to start spending that wealth to rebuild and strengthen relationships.
Of course, in a picture-perfect world, we’d be surrounded by loved ones until the end. But life doesn’t always work that way.
The risk of isolation
Even the best retirement plan can’t protect you from all the tremors life throws your way, such as the loss of a spouse or divorce.
Social isolation and loneliness — labeled an epidemic by the CDC — tends to be higher among retirees who are widowed or divorced. But studies show that those who receive social support often experience a meaningful reduction in loneliness.
Many people also underestimate just how much community came from their workplace. When retirees return to work, it’s often not because they love their job. A T. Rowe Price survey found that men, in particular, cited social connection as a primary reason for rejoining the workforce.
“It makes sense when you think about it,” says Bill Shafransky, CFP® and senior wealth adviser at Moneco Advisors. “After spending 30 to 40 years surrounded by coworkers, suddenly stopping that daily interaction can be a real shock to the brain and body.”
And that shock has consequences. Social isolation is linked to a host of physical and mental health issues in older adults, from higher rates of depression and cognitive decline to increased risks of heart disease and even premature death.
Professional connections matter, too
Who do you turn to for advice on major decisions?
Data suggests some of the most important elements of retirement — like creating an estate plan or building a portfolio — are best handled with the help of professionals, such as tax experts, estate attorneys and financial advisers.
Take your finances. A good financial adviser can do more than manage your investments. They can also help you avoid costly mistakes. Case in point: Kevin Bacon himself reportedly lost a large portion of his savings to Bernie Madoff’s infamous Ponzi scheme.
According to the 2021 Herbers & Company Financial Behaviors Study, people who work with a financial adviser are three times happier than those who don’t. That happiness extends beyond finances, as they also report better communication with their partners and greater satisfaction in their personal relationships.
“Financial planners can be sounding boards, sources of encouragement, and even provide ‘permission slips’ to spend on relationship-building activities like travel or hobbies,” says Lynch.
So, don’t overlook the value of the relationships you pay for. These professional connections can help you make smarter decisions, relieve stress, and free you to kick off the Sunday shoes and enjoy retirement.
How are you managing your “social capital?”
What makes the “six degrees” game possible is that Kevin Bacon is a prolific actor, having starred in a wide variety of genres.
It can be a useful metaphor for retirement. Considering how much relationships matter, managing your “social capital” may be just as critical as managing your investments. You could even make the case that failure is not an option.
That doesn’t mean surrounding yourself with as many people as possible, Animal House-style. It means maintaining a variety of connections that enrich your life.
“Over the years, I’ve found that retirees define social interaction in different ways,” says Shafransky. “Some translate it into a formal structure like joining a committee, or church, or volunteering organization, while others translate it into playing pickleball on occasion or meeting friends for morning coffee. I don’t think there’s a ‘right’ activity. It’s just important to do something with other people.”
That’s where the Kevin Bacon test for retirement comes in: audit your connections and consider ways to nurture them.
And here’s the good news: studies show older adults tend to report more positive and meaningful relationships than younger people. With time horizons shifting, they become more selective and intentional about who they spend time with. The result is often deeper satisfaction.
Therefore, you don’t need a massive reboot of your social life. Start by showing up. Join a club. Volunteer. Say yes to lunch at a diner, where a simple conversation might be the start of a more connected and more fulfilling chapter.
As you think about maintaining your retirement portfolio or sticking to your health goals, experts say it’s worth asking: How are you using your time, money and energy to invest in your portfolio of relationships?
Take it from the man himself, Kevin Bacon:
“If you take me out of it, I find Six Degrees to be a beautiful concept that we should try to live by. It’s about compassion and responsibility for everyone on the planet.”
