For decades, the narrative around divorce was centered on young couples — hasty decisions, new parenthood and financial instability. Today, that story has fundamentally changed. While divorce rates for those under 45 have been steadily declining, a quieter, more profound demographic shift has occurred: the dramatic rise of “gray divorce.”
The rate of gray divorce, divorces among adults aged 50 and older, has more than doubled since 1990, making older adulthood the only demographic experiencing a surge in marital dissolution.
“Some possible reasons for gray divorce are because of our increased longevity. People are less willing to endure unhappy marriages for so long and are more optimistic that they will find another partner,” said Rosie Shrout, former assistant professor in the Purdue University Department of Human Development and Family Science.
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Trends by age group
The distribution of divorce rates by age in the U.S. demonstrates a striking divergence in trends between younger and older adults. While the overall U.S. divorce rate has declined in recent decades, this is largely due to lower rates among younger age groups, a shift that masks a significant increase in divorce among older adults.
|
Age Group |
Rate in 1990 |
Rate in 2021 |
Trend |
|
15-24 |
47.2% |
19.7% |
Sharp decline |
|
25-34 |
30.0% |
23.0% |
Decline |
|
45-54 |
14.5% |
16.0% |
Slight increase |
|
55-64 |
5.5% |
11.5% |
Doubled |
|
65+ |
1.8% |
5.5% |
Tripled |
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” —Oscar Wilde
—Oscar Wilde
The role of remarriage in divorce statistics
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Most adults who have divorced (66%) have gone on to remarry, according to Pew Research.
As you can see by the statistics, the stability of a marriage is also influenced by whether it is a first or subsequent marriage:
- First marriages: Estimates suggest that around 41% of first marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce.
- Second marriages: The risk increases significantly for second marriages, with approximately 60% ending in divorce.
- Third marriages: The instability continues to climb, with around 73% of third marriages ending in divorce.
Young adulthood (Ages 15-39): the decline in divorce
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Historically, the youngest age groups (15-24 and 25-34) have the highest actual divorce rates, but they have also seen the most dramatic reduction in those rates. Divorce rates among the youngest age group — those under 40 — have seen a significant decline since the peak years of the 1980s and 1990s.
Reasons for the decline:
Midlife and older adulthood (Ages 50+): The rise of “gray divorce”
(Image credit: Getty Images)
The divorce rate for Americans aged 50 and older has surged — a phenomenon known as “gray divorce.” This is the only age group in which the divorce rate has consistently increased over time.
The rate of divorce among adults aged 50 and older more than doubled between 1990 and 2010. While the rate has leveled off somewhat in recent years, it remains at historically high levels. The age group with the most significant percentage increase is 65 and older, where the divorce rate has nearly tripled since 1990.
In 1990, less than 1 in 10 people getting divorced was aged 50 or older. Today, over one-third (around 36%) of all U.S. divorces involve individuals aged 50 and older.
Factors driving gray divorce:
- The baby boomer effect: The cohort currently aged 50 and older (largely baby boomers) experienced historically high divorce rates in their younger years. Since remarriages tend to be less stable than first marriages, their marital history contributes to the elevated divorce rates today.
- Increased longevity: People are living longer, healthier lives. An individual who divorces at age 60 may still have several decades of life ahead, often leading them to seek personal fulfillment and independence outside of an unsatisfactory long-term marriage.
- Financial independence: With more women in the workforce earning income and accumulating retirement assets, there is less of a financial incentive for one spouse to remain in an unhappy marriage.
- Empty nest syndrome: The departure of children from the home can sometimes expose deep-seated marital issues that were masked or postponed while focusing on parenting. Stacy Francis, President & CEO of Francis Financial, told Kiplinger that children leaving the home can trigger a period of “self-reflection” that leads some people to realize that it was only the job of raising their kids that kept them together.
The Institute for Family Studies points to a historical factor that sometimes goes unmentioned. “When we look at heightened divorce rates among older Americans, we are seeing, in part, the long tail of the 20th-century upheaval. The stability of new marriages suggests this revolution is over.”
The study notes that when gray divorce is analyzed today, it is the marriages formed during the turbulent years of the divorce revolution that are often being observed. “Consider that over half of married adults over the age of 60 wedded in the 1970s and 1980s.”
Who is driving gray divorce?
More than 60% of gray divorces are initiated by women, according to a 2015 study, The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change. Yet, women 50 and older experience a 45% decline in their standard of living; for men, it’s only a 21% decline.
“For the folks we work with, mostly baby boomers, mostly women, it must be emotionally driven because the math doesn’t work. I think specifically for the baby boomers, it’s the combination of the stigma dissipating as well as the kids being independent,” Evan T Beach, President of Exit 59 Advisory, told Kiplinger. He said that “….even with the more difficult financial situation, I’m yet to meet someone who regrets it. The financial issues, within reason, are easier to solve than the marriage ones.”
