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Question: We said we’d retire when our savings hit $5 million. That happened last year, but my husband doesn’t feel ready to retire. We’re both 66, and I want to enjoy our good health while we still have it. Help!
Answer: In 2022, the last year for which there’s data available, the average 66-year-old had $609,230 in retirement savings, according to the Federal Reserve. If you and your spouse are 66 with a $5 million nest egg, you clearly have a lot more money than the typical person your age.
In fact, a $5 million retirement nest egg puts you in the top 0.1% of households, according to an Employee Benefit Research Institute analysis of retirement accounts cited by the Wall Street Journal. So in theory, that should give you the freedom to retire when you want, and on the terms you want.
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What if you’re ready to retire after having reached your savings goal, but your husband is still hesitant? While his feelings are understandable, your desire to retire now to maximize your good health is also completely valid. Here’s how to approach the situation.
Address the fear factor
Running out of money (or longevity risk) is often a major concern for retirees. Having $5 million to your name won’t necessarily make it go away, says Julian B. Morris, CFP, founder and principal at Concierge Wealth Management.
While reaching a financial milestone like $5 million saved is a huge achievement, Morris says, the fear of running out of money is also quite normal.
In fact, Morris says, “Great savers are usually people who struggle with this the most because they’ve built their success and their nest eggs by being disciplined and cautious… Suddenly easing up can feel irresponsible, even when you’ve reached a milestone like having $5 million saved.”
Morris also points out that hitting a certain savings milestone doesn’t automatically mean you’re mentally and emotionally prepared for retirement, so it’s important to address that.
Nancy Anderson, director of Wealth Planning Programs & Initiatives at Key Private Bank, says it’s important to work with a professional to run the numbers so you can see that they actually work.
“Your financial planner can run stress tests to see whether your savings support your lifestyle spending,” she says. “Seeing the math can help ease the nerves for a partner who feels hesitant.”
Find something to retire to
Many people are hesitant to retire, not just because of financial concerns, but also because they fear ending up bored and unhappy. That’s why it’s important to try to picture what retirement might look like. If you talk specifics, rather than dread retirement, your husband might start getting excited about it.
“Your husband may not be resisting retirement. He may be resisting a void,” Anderson says. “Define what he is stepping into in retirement, not just focusing on stepping away from work. Include travel, new hobbies, volunteering, or rekindling a passion. Having structure and health goals is important and can make the transition easier.”
Morris agrees
“I often see people underestimate how quickly life can fill with other meaningful activities,” he says. “These are the things that you’ve put off because you’ve been working so hard… and they tend to be more rewarding than people expect.”
See if you can ease into things
The idea of going from working full-time to retiring overnight can be emotionally jarring. That’s why you may want to look at ways for your husband to ease into this phase of life rather than dive in at full speed.
“See if you can take a sabbatical or three-month trial retirement,” Anderson says. “This lets your husband ‘try’ retired life without the pressure of a permanent decision.”
Morris agrees that in a situation like this, it’s worth exploring a compromise, such as part-time work or consulting.
“This is the sweet spot for so many folks,” he insists.
Remember why you worked hard to save
A lot of people get so focused on meeting a savings goal that they forget what the money is supposed to do for them. Morris says it wouldn’t hurt to remind your husband why you both hustled and sacrificed, and to see if that helps him change his tune.
“The point of reaching a number was never to just keep accumulating,” Morris says. Rather, he explains, a $5 million nest egg can “create freedom while you’re healthy enough to enjoy it.”
And as Anderson points out, “From 66 to roughly 75 are the healthiest, most mobile retirement years. The question becomes, what experiences will you regret postponing?”
Give each other the freedom to make your own decisions
When you’re married, it’s natural to assume that retiring at the same time makes the most sense. But that’s not a given.
“Many couples retire at different times,” Anderson says. “If you’re ready to retire, go ahead and enjoy your freedom, hobbies, and friends, even if your husband needs to taper down more slowly.”
Having each of you retire at your own pace could also help prevent feelings of resentment. You don’t want to feel limited by your husband’s desire to keep working, and your husband doesn’t want to feel pressured into a lifestyle change he may not be ready for. Retiring at separate times could give you the best of both worlds and help you avoid needless conflict.
