When it comes to retirement, women face an unpleasant reality.
Studies show that women, on average, are expected to live nearly six years longer than their male spouses.
With this comes a significant wealth transfer — Empower.com projects that roughly $34 trillion in assets will move to women in the next decade, much of it due to the loss of a spouse.
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Beyond the emotional toll, the loss of a spouse can present some major financial hurdles during an already-challenging time for women and their families.
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Alongside grief, end-of-life planning, estate issues and probate, many new widows also find themselves suddenly responsible for managing their savings and investments alone.
An unfamiliar responsibility
For many, this responsibility is entirely unfamiliar. In countless households, one spouse or the other — often the man — traditionally manages investments, taxes, wills and trusts and estate matters, leaving their loved ones without the experience or, more important, a plan to effectively manage their financial future.
I know this because I’ve seen it with my clients, and I’ve experienced it in my own family.
When my dad passed, my mom was immediately overwhelmed with a litany of to-do lists — writing an obituary, finalizing funeral arrangements, notifying companies of his passing, waiting on death certificates, filling out multiple sets of paperwork — all while grappling with the deep sadness and grief of losing her husband and the father of her children.
Though my mom was a seasoned bank executive, she still struggled with being overwhelmed — she knew what she needed to do and was more than capable of handling these tasks, but no one can account for the grief process, especially while being bombarded with endless to-do lists.
To say it was a lot is an understatement.
Witnessing this in both my professional and personal life taught me an important lesson — one I not only share with my clients but apply in my own life:
While nothing can change the loss of a spouse, there is much women can do ahead of time to empower themselves to be confident, engaged decisionmakers for themselves and their families when it comes to finances.
Before the worst happens: It’s never too late to get involved
Whether you work with an adviser or your spouse personally manages your finances, ask to be involved in financial meetings or reviews — even if it’s all new to you.
Use these opportunities to ask questions and build your understanding of your family’s savings and investments.
Most important, keep a record of all crucial financial information in a secure place, including:
- Approximate balances for each investment account
- Bank names and locations
- Issuing insurance companies
- Money management firms
- Names and contact info for key advisers or managers
- Account numbers
- Passwords
You don’t need to become a financial expert. But the more you understand where your money is, how it’s being invested or saved and who is helping you manage it, the smoother your transition will be should you become the sole financial decision-maker.
When the worst happens, have a plan: First moves for new widows
The loss of a spouse can throw even seasoned planners into disarray, which is why I offer my clients two essential first steps during this difficult time:
First, process the emotions.
Grief can upend even the best-laid plans. Give yourself space to process your emotions — whatever that looks like for you. Trying to make complex decisions while navigating immense emotional pain can lead to costly mistakes or missed details.
Despite the wave of calls and questions that inevitably follow a spouse’s passing, protect your emotional bandwidth. Taking time to grieve will give you the clarity to make sound financial decisions and the strength to support your loved ones.
Next, work with the right adviser.
If you’re starting fresh or seeking a second opinion, use the “Multiple Meeting Test”: meet with a potential adviser two or three times. Be open about your fears, challenges and hopes for the future.
As you share, pay attention — are they just waiting to pitch a product? Are they actively listening, seeking to understand your story before offering recommendations?
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Treat these meetings like a job interview. If you’re talked over, dismissed, rushed or pressured into making a quick decision, walk away.
The adviser you choose should be someone you have confidence in and connect with, someone who makes you feel seen, respected and ready to help shape your financial future.
Empowerment through preparedness
The loss of a spouse will always change you, but it doesn’t have to leave you powerless. With the right guidance, preparation and support, you can transform one of life’s most painful transitions into a chapter of confidence, clarity and control.
Remember: You don’t have to know everything — you just need to know you’re not alone. By taking small, simple steps today, you’re not only safeguarding your future, you’re also honoring your story and your strength and stepping up for those who love you.
Grief may be the beginning, but growth is where you’re headed.
Licensed Insurance Professional. This information has been provided by an Investment Adviser Representative and does not necessarily represent the views of the presenting adviser. The statements and opinions expressed are those of the author and are subject to change at any time. Provided content is for overview and informational purposes only and is not intended and should not be relied upon as individualized tax, legal, fiduciary, or investment advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, presenting insurance professional makes no representation as to its completeness or accuracy.
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